Bear With One Another
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive.”—Colossians 3:12-13 ESV
Relationships can be difficult. Certainly, we can consider two strangers whose personalities naturally clash and imagine how they may have a hard time getting along. However, we can all probably think of times in our lives where we’ve witnessed two long-time friends facing a rough patch in their relationship. Even husbands and wives go through seasons and circumstances that are particularly challenging. Any relationship worth having will face difficult times.
One such relationship is that which members of the church share with one another. Paul writes to the church in Colossae that the members are to bear with one another. The need to bear can present itself in many ways. It may be something as simple as a habit you find annoying. Perhaps some behaviors they allow their kids to do trouble you. More bothersome could be the exact style with which one leads songs. As individuals, we’re likely to collide with each other in ways that require us to quietly bear with one another.
On the other hand, as imperfect as we are, there will be times where our brother or sister does something that is just plain wrong, hurtful, and damaging. It is in those moments that we must really keep our perspective. Those closest to us can hurt us the most. The errors of those we look up to will cast the darkest shadow. However, we are called to bear the serious as well as the simple.
How is that bearing characterized? It’s described as compassionate, meaning it tries to understand where the other person is coming from. Bearing also means to be kind, implying not just a passive tolerance but an active helpfulness. Humility is also required because to any extent that you don’t have the problem, it’s by the grace of God. To bear appropriately employs meekness, otherwise the grumbler is only increasing the burden. Lastly, the bearer should exercise patience, knowing that the arc of everyone’s growth takes a slightly different shape.
Paul’s first argument for why we should bear is that we are “God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved”. In short, part of what he’s saying is--this is what you signed up for! Recall Jesus’ parable of the wedding feast, “many are called, but few are chosen” (Matthew 22:14). God wants all to come to repentance, but the chosen aren’t made so against their will, it’s those who’ve taken up the task.
More importantly, we’re told to not only bear with each other, but even when we have the most valid complaint, we should forgive. Those closest to Jesus betrayed him, but he still went to the cross for them and for us. If God, being perfect, is willing to forgive us our trespasses, why should we not forgive others their own? Let us all bear with one another and forgive as we have been forgiven.
Jason Budd
