Flee from Doubts
When it was evening, he reclined at table with the twelve. And as they were eating, he said, “Truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me. And they were very sorrowful and began to say to him one after another, “Is it I, Lord?”– Matthew 26:20-22
For the third time in His ministry, Jesus is observing the Passover. We don’t have many details about the meal-time activity of the first two occurrences (John 2 and 6). Was it the disciples who prepared the meal? Did Jesus recline with them? From Exodus 12 we get a sense that the observance is collective, familial, and traditional. The LORD told Aaron and Moses that their children would ask of its significance (v. 26) and that they should tell of how they were spared. In response, they “worshiped”.
Jesus was very eager to participate in this event with them, telling them “I have earnestly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. For I tell you I will not eat it until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God.” (Luke 22:15). Preparation spanning centuries was culminating in just the next few days. The LORD, who had patiently cared for and led His people, was finally ushering in the new covenant.
However, the event wasn’t all joyous. As they’re eating, Jesus tells them that one of them will betray Him. We know well who this “one” is, but also interesting is the response by all the other disciples. We’re told that “one after another” they all ask Jesus if they are the one. We know the disciples often discussed their role in the kingdom amongst each other, but now? It’s clear -- they all had doubts.
“And when they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives. Then Jesus said to them, “You will all fall away because of me this night. For it is written, ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’” 26:30-31.
Despite what they were feeling and thinking, they were still worshipping and communing. It’s not always easy to tell from the outside what people are struggling with. Sometimes someone needs to ask the uncomfortable question. Their community would abruptly end with Jesus’s arrest.
“Then all the disciples left him and fled.” v. 56
Matthew wants us to appreciate that all of those doubts were real. When intensity and danger emerged, and the shepherd was struck, every last one of them scattered. If we look at these disciples with amazement or condescension, we are missing the point. We should instead see ourselves in them. We should all use it was a warning to guard our faith, loyalty, and cross.
Their doubts had varying degrees, one leading to betrayal, and some staying closer by, but Jesus knew most would return (v. 32). If you find yourself with doubts, seek the disciples, lean on God, and continue praying and singing. Flee from doubts, not from Jesus
Jason Budd
